Why The Five Stages of Grief Are Bullshit

May 20, 2023 by Melissa

The five stages of grief, proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, have been widely discussed and studied in the field of psychology. While they have been helpful for some people in understanding and processing their emotions during times of loss, it’s important to note that they are not universally applicable or experienced by everyone. Here are a few reasons why some critics may argue that the five stages of grief are limited or oversimplified:

1. Lack of universality: The stages of grief were originally based on Kübler-Ross’s observations of terminally ill patients. However, subsequent research has shown that people’s experiences of grief can vary widely depending on factors such as cultural background, individual personality traits, the nature of the loss, and personal circumstances. Grief is a complex and individualized process, and not everyone will go through these specific stages or experience them in a linear fashion.

2. Non-linear progression: Grief does not follow a fixed sequence or timeline. Individuals may move back and forth between different emotions and stages, skip certain stages altogether, or experience emotions that are not included in the five-stage model. The grieving process is highly personal and can involve a range of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that are not captured by a linear framework.

3. Overgeneralization: The five stages of grief may oversimplify the complexity of grief experiences. Emotions and responses to loss can be multifaceted, and attempting to fit them into a limited set of stages can overlook the unique and individual nature of grief. People’s grieving processes are influenced by a wide range of factors, and reducing them to just five stages may not adequately capture the diversity of experiences.

4. Inadequate representation of positive emotions: The five stages of grief primarily focus on negative emotions such as denial, anger, and depression. However, grief can also involve positive emotions such as love, gratitude, and reminiscence. The model may fail to acknowledge the potential for growth, resilience, and finding meaning in the face of loss.

5. Cultural and contextual differences: Grief is influenced by cultural norms, beliefs, and practices, which can vary significantly across different societies and communities. The stages of grief may not align with the cultural expectations or coping strategies that individuals or communities utilize during the grieving process.

While the five stages of grief have provided a framework that has been helpful for some individuals in understanding and discussing their grief experiences, it is crucial to recognize that grief is a deeply personal and individual journey. People’s experiences of grief are diverse and multifaceted, and it is essential to allow space for individual variations and avoid rigidly applying a one-size-fits-all model.